So not happy life

If you can turn back the time and re-do 1 thing in your life, what it would be? 

As if for my 31 years living, there's not a single thing in my life that i would change. I think my life is great. Yes, i did some mistakes, yes, i'm getting through so much pain and tears, but also laugh and joy. I have so much love in my family, i was raised with love and strength and i'm very proud with who i am now. And i think how great is God to give me so much in life. My single life is great and i enjoy a lot and i thought i was affraid of commitment, to step out of my comfort zone as a single and free woman, to a dedicated woman as a married lady. 

And as you know, now i'm living as a married lady. I never think that marriage life is somthing like disneyland or something like disney stories. As for me, an independent woman, happiness is something that you decide to be, same goes with marriage. So I was trying my best to be happy everyday with what i have now.... 

Less than a month being married lady, i found out that my husband, someone who swore to respect and love me in front of God, lied to me. He decide that going out with his ex-girlfriend is somehhing that normally happen because they are friends now. So He went to curch to pray together, or at least that what he said to me. How did i found out? You want to know? Well, his ex-girlfriend sent him voice note through whatsapp and i checked that. How impolite i was to checking other's phone, right? And that's called instinct. 

I was broken that time... Cannot focus on work, crying a lot of time, having nightmare, crying while i slept, you name it. I've goin through that all. If there's one thing that i can re-do in life, i will never ever marry that guy. 

Ubaya training center, trawas, mojokerto

Today, i have a chance to share about my previous trip to Trawas. A small city ard 90 min from Surabaya, located between mt penanggungan and mt. Arjuna. If you have interest in history, u might like this place because they have a lot pf historical site and you can have camp in mt penanggungan while you visiting those sites. Those historical site is managed by ubaya university and founded by some donations. If you are interest, for 3 days camp and visit historical site, it will cost you around 2-3 million IDR for each person and they will prepare all logistic and tent for you. 

You dont like to have a camp? You can stay in ubaya training center. They have villas and it rented for public, with hotel facilities. 

Let's talk about the wheather. Since this place is locates between mountains, you expect this will be cold, rigt? In fact, it is not. The wheather is ok for night, but it is hot on the afternoon. 

Find your inner peace

It's been less than 6 month marriage life. I've been goin through a lot. Lies, cheat, pain, tears, and laugh. I've keep all inside of me and pretend nothing happen. We have so called normal life or maybe both of us pretend to be normal, eventough i cant trust him anymore. My heart been insecure for this all time and suddenly he mention another woman's name after we had sex and he pretend like nothing happen. No apologize, no explaination. Just like nothing happen. Maybe he though i'm stupid enough, or just made from a stone, or doesnt have heart, not brain. My head keep saying that if he dont have any courage to face me, than he is not worth it. Keep saying, just leave him be. I worth so much better than a guy who constantly cheat on me and lie to me. I worth honesty and appreciation. I worth love. I worth everything that he cant give to me. So why do i stay? 

April,3rd.